Dear keyboard warriors…
Author note: This is an open letter to not only the keyboard warriors of the world but the people constantly reminding others that there needs to be a Public Service Announcement (PSA) for absolutely every-fucking-thing. I will call these people “get a life and get off the internet, shortened to GLGOI.
Dear keyboard warriors and GLGOI of the world,
This world (in case you didn’t know) is made up of billions of people. At least 50% of those people use the internet for the same reasons you do, or; for more illicit and illegal activities. Of the 50% of those people, I wanna say around 10-20% of those are Youtubers and/or celebrities. Maybe not as many as that, but you get where I am going with this.
I’d like to remind you eejits that you only see what people want you to see, especially on Youtube. Commenting on someone’s Youtube post telling them what a shitty job they are doing as human’s. What I don’t see in those comments, that I quite often comment on as I enjoy winding people like you up, does that make me a bad person? Probably, do I give a hairy fuck? Not a chance, if you want to comment giving people just doing their best shit, then I am going to come along and give you a reality check. There is more of me out there (call me, we’ll start a cult or something…)
I digress, what I don’t see on those comments are links to your Youtube channels, blogs, Instagram’s or whatever. Why don’t I see them? Because you aren’t perfect, far from it in fact, or you’d be too busy to comment on someone’s video or post. I’ve been biting my lip (and diligently trolling you lot, always coming out on top when you try to respond because I’m just funnier than you are, I’m ugly so all I have is my sense of humour and it serves me well).
However, after seeing a Youtuber I watch break down in tears (for another reason, but this was mentioned), someone I look up to enormously and who actually inspired me to start a blog, Anna Saccone-Joly, because she was working full time at nearly 40 weeks pregnant with her fourth child, running a business, being a mum of three little kids under 6, being a wife (which trust me is a hard fucking job), a dog owner of 6, a Youtuber, blog owner/writer/creator, an Ambassador, trying to sort out her newly bought home in the midst of a refurbishment and just being a woman in her very early 30’s living away from her family mention that she is STILL getting shit from keyboard warriors and GLGOI because she wasn’t doing ENOUGH. The woman was cooking a nearly 9lb baby, was in absolute agony with sciatica and pains in her crotch area as well as suffering from mum guilt. We are our own worst enemies, we do not need you fucktards adding more shit.
The anger I have is unbelievable I call it “the rage”, this is the reason I hate social media and the internet. The “well they chose to put their lives online…” WRONG, they chose to give you a glimpse into a week or day of their lives, in case you didn’t know there is 24 hours in a day and 168 hours in a week, Youtube videos are never more than an hour long, the majority of them being between 10 – 15 minutes. THINK.ABOUT.IT!
I want to focus on the GLGOI for a moment, specifically. If I see one more person say, “let’s take a moment to remember to remind people not to -insert common sense here-“. If you are thinking it, chances are 99.9% of the population already know. If someone chooses to lose all common sense and do something stupid, it’s on them, not the person on Youtube, blog, or whatever.
I once saw a comment from someone when watching a “Watch me clean my house” Youtube video (I swear on my life they are the most satisfying videos next to pimple poppers) saying, “You really need to remind people that they should avoid contact with bleach, they should wear gloves or ensure the bleach is diluted as they can end up with chemical burns”. Sorry? Hold on Sandra, lemme go pour myself some bleach and rub it around my body…see what I mean?
I’ve dubbed 2018 the year of bullshit, as not only does everyone think they are entitled to correct others on a daily basis, but they also think they are entitled to know absolutely everything about the person they are watching on their screens. For example, I watch the Saccone-Joly’s, I have watched them for going on 5+ years now, not once have I ever taken the notion to Google their home address or where their kids go to school. I have never once thought, how dare they send their children to a private school, what’s wrong with public school? I dunno… maybe you are what’s wrong with public school? – Shrug-
Before you “try” and attack me for that, I went to public school from nursery to upper 6th. I did well in public school, but that was because I had brains. Otherwise, I’d have been 100% fucked. If someone has the money to send their kids to private school then good on them, just look at the statistics. Private school doesn’t teach people to be assholes, people teach people to be assholes. To steal a line from a recent email, a fellow blogger sent me “People are like assholes, everyone is one. Sorry, everyone has one” – Vix Meldrew, 2018.
I’ve gone slightly off track, again… The reason I bring up the address and school part is that I remember watching a video in which Jonathan and Anna had to address their audience and politely tell them to not tell the internet where their children go to school, go to their children’s school or show up at their house. I was like “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?! AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?” It took me a good 30 minutes and lots of Celine Dion – Alexa, play Celine Dion, Where Does My Heart Beat, Now? – To calm down and gather myself. Stuff like this really doesn’t usually bother me, I just think “Haha, dickheads” and move on with my life, but I think I was just shocked that not only are people that fucking nosey, but they are actually that stupid. It’s called stalking, look it up, people get arrested for it.
Where do I get off telling these trolls what to do? -shrug- Let me use a phrase one troll kindly reminded me of only mere moments ago, “freedom of speech, innit?” Innit indeed… -Alexa, play I Don’t Give A Fuck by K LoVe ft J.O.C- Just kidding, I don’t have an Alexa.
In all seriousness, though, I genuinely worry for my godchildren when I witness the amount of bullshit going on and the petty things people do. Manny MWAH (MUA) did a video apologising for being an asshole recently, beauty followers will probably know who he is, he said something during that video that I 100% disagreed with. I think it was something along the lines of “It’s human nature to be petty”, no love, no it’s not. People choose to be petty, I decide to be the asshole that trolls the trolls, why? Because, freedom of speech, innit.
The majority of my followers, readers and people who know me personally know that I am one of the nicest people you could ever meet in your life and I just want everyone to be happy and kind, but I’m not naïve, I know what the real world is like, I’m the wife of someone who deals with a lot of shit for the work he does, because there are sick people out there. I’m the friend of several people that also get a tonne of shit and no thanks whatsoever for the work they do, and I often wonder what would happen if all of them decided “Fuck it!” All of them quit at once, we would genuinely all be utterly fucked, if not dead.
So next time you decide to take to your keyboard to spout your very UNWANTED opinion on a Youtuber’s channel, on an Influencer’s post, or to the GLOLI’s you decide to tell someone everything they are doing wrong, lift your smelly wee fingers off the keyboard, sit back and take stock of what’s around you.
Is your life, perfect? If you have kids, are they gleaming and well behaved 24/7 365 (or 366 in a leap year)? No, they’re not. Is your relationship with your partner, amazing? Are you as creative as these people are at making videos, animations or posts for your enjoyment? No, no you’re not, don’t try and kid yourself, you are no better than the rest of us who fart and blame it on the kids or our animals, who don’t keep a gleaming home 100% of the time, I am bordering on OCD with cleaning, and I know for 100% fact that someone could come into my house and go “fuck me, she missed a bit”. Do I care? No, do I comment on someone else’s house if it’s filthy either to their face or online? No, no I don’t.
Let me leave the keyboard warriors and GLOLI’s with a few wee wisdom nuggets:
“You will never regret being kind” – Anonymous
“We rise by lifting others” – Anonymous
“Judging a person does not define who they are… it defines who you are.” – Apparently, it came from the book “A Fault in our Stars.”
To everyone else, as Mr Tim McGraw once sang “Always stay humble and kind.”
Thank you for a 1000 followers on Twitter, if I had Alexa I’d say “Alexa, play Careless Whisper”, and I’d slow dance by myself.